Home Page Funny Pictures Fun Pages Games Downloads Funny Post Cards Shop at Laughline.com
Email This Page to a Friend Join Our Email List
Joke Categories
Animal Jokes
Anna Nicole Smith Jokes
Bill Clinton Jokes
Bizarre News Stories
Black Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Blonde Q&A
Celebrity Jokes
Chuck Norris Jokes
Computer Jokes
David Hasselhoff Jokes
Dirty Jokes
Drinking / Bar Jokes
Family Funnies
Foreign Jokes
Funny Pictures
George W Bush Jokes
Golf Jokes
Gross Jokes
Holiday Humor
Hurricane Katrina Jokes
Insults
Iraq Jokes
John Kerry Jokes
Knock Knock Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
Little Johnny Jokes
Medical Jokes
Men / Women Jokes
Michael Jackson Jokes
Miscellaneous Jokes
Mommy Mommy Jokes
Obama Jokes
Pickup Lines
Polish Jokes
Political Jokes
Priceless Pictures
Redneck Jokes
Relationships & Marriage
Religious Jokes
School Jokes
Sex Jokes
Sikh Jokes
Sports Jokes
Stupid Jokes
Terri Schiavo Jokes
Tsunami Jokes
Viagra
Work Jokes
Yo Mamma Jokes
Joke Search
 
Sponsor

Other Great Sites
Priceless Pictures
Sponsor

About Us
Register
Login
About This Site
Privacy Policy
Copyright Information
Contact Us
Advertising Information
Joke Home > Work Jokes > Job Application

Job Application

Total Views: 10,238 Last Updated: 10/15/2003 Number Votes: 441 | Average: 0.11

This is an actual job application someone submitted to McDonald's. They hired him.

NAME - Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION - Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY - $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION - Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD - Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY - Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT - My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING - It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK - Any.

PREFERRED HOURS - 1:30 - 3:30 pm, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be, "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE? Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

Work Jokes > Joke 16 of 46 in the Work Jokes category.
First | Previous | Next | Last

Rate This Joke
0 1 2 3 4 5
Worst Average Best
 

Send This Joke to a Friend
Your First Name:
Your Last Name:
Your Email Address:
  Friend's Name Friend's Email
1:
2:
3:
4:
5:
Optional Comments:
 
May We Add You to Our Mailing List

(Please note that temporary cookies are used on this site to store your name and email address and to remember the last 5 people you emailed this joke to.  This information is only stored temporarily and removed once you exit the site.)

LoudOffice.com :: Boston Website Design