Home Page Funny Pictures Fun Pages Games Downloads Funny Post Cards Shop at Laughline.com
Email This Page to a Friend Join Our Email List
Joke Categories
Animal Jokes
Anna Nicole Smith Jokes
Bill Clinton Jokes
Bizarre News Stories
Black Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Blonde Q&A
Celebrity Jokes
Chuck Norris Jokes
Computer Jokes
David Hasselhoff Jokes
Dirty Jokes
Drinking / Bar Jokes
Family Funnies
Foreign Jokes
Funny Pictures
George W Bush Jokes
Golf Jokes
Gross Jokes
Holiday Humor
Hurricane Katrina Jokes
Insults
Iraq Jokes
John Kerry Jokes
Knock Knock Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
Little Johnny Jokes
Medical Jokes
Men / Women Jokes
Michael Jackson Jokes
Miscellaneous Jokes
Mommy Mommy Jokes
Obama Jokes
Pickup Lines
Polish Jokes
Political Jokes
Priceless Pictures
Redneck Jokes
Relationships & Marriage
Religious Jokes
School Jokes
Sex Jokes
Sikh Jokes
Sports Jokes
Stupid Jokes
Terri Schiavo Jokes
Tsunami Jokes
Viagra
Work Jokes
Yo Mamma Jokes
Joke Search
 
Sponsor

Other Great Sites
Priceless Pictures
Sponsor

About Us
Register
Login
About This Site
Privacy Policy
Copyright Information
Contact Us
Advertising Information
Joke Home > Redneck Jokes > Rules of the Southern Lifestyle

Rules of the Southern Lifestyle

Total Views: 5,911 Last Updated: 5/16/2002 Number Votes: 962 | Average: 0.04

All good Southerners already know these, but in fairness to those Yankees who were dumb enough to stay down here:
1. Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hrs a day, so let them cook something they know.

2. Don't laugh at people's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Tammy Ann, Mari Beth, and Inez have all been known to whip a man's ass for less than that.

3. Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda -- this can lead to a merciless beating. Down South it's called Coke, even if you want a Pepsi.

4. Don't show allegiances to any college football squad that isn't an SEC team. All the others are a bunch of candy asses who get to play Wyoming every week.

5. Don't refer to Southerner's as a bunch of hillbillies. Many of us are/have been more literate than you (e.g. Welty, Williams, Faulkner), better educated, and generally much nicer to boot. We've got plenty of business sense (e.g.Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, and Netscape). Naturally, we can have lapses of judgment from time to time (e.g. Clinton, Fordice, Duke). We don't care if you think we're dumb, we know better!

6. We are fully aware that the humidity is high. Quit your bitching, spend your money, and leave.

7. Don't order wheat toast at the Cracker Barrel. If you do this, everyone will know you're from Ohio. Eat the biscuits like God intended and for goodness sake, don't put sugar in your grits.

8. Don't attempt to fake a Southern accent. Nothing will incite a riot faster.

9. Don't go around talking about how much better it is back home. If you don't like it here, take your Yankee ass back home.

10. We don't play lacrosse, hockey or any of those other sissy ass Northern games, so don't ask about the scores. We...simply...don't...care.

11. We know how to speak proper English, we talk this way because we want to and we can. It's like playing jazz, you have to know how to do it right first.

12. Last, but by no means least...DO NOT try to tell us how to Bar-B-Q. This could lead to permanent expulsion and revocation of your work visa. Consider yourself just damn lucky that we let you come down here in the first place. Don't push your luck!

Redneck Jokes > Joke 133 of 236 in the Redneck Jokes category.
First | Previous | Next | Last

Rate This Joke
0 1 2 3 4 5
Worst Average Best
 

Send This Joke to a Friend
Your First Name:
Your Last Name:
Your Email Address:
  Friend's Name Friend's Email
1:
2:
3:
4:
5:
Optional Comments:
 
May We Add You to Our Mailing List

(Please note that temporary cookies are used on this site to store your name and email address and to remember the last 5 people you emailed this joke to.  This information is only stored temporarily and removed once you exit the site.)

LoudOffice.com :: Boston Website Design